Q & A with essayist/writer Claire Yezbak Fadden
Thanks so much for coming on my blog to talk about your new release Woman at Heart: Essays on Life, Love, Laughter & Tears, it was a pleasure to read!
1. Wow! You have an arsenal of essays, can you share how you ended up writing all of these? How you came up with all of your different topics? Sounds like they spanned through the years?
Thank you, Cindy, for this opportunity. It’s a funny thing about essays, they pop into your head at the oddest moments. The yoga piece, That’s A Twist, materialized fully formed during a downward facing dog pose in class. Most of the ones about my sons, like Project Help and MOM = Made of Money, arrived much more slowly, sort of as a compilation of parenting moments.
And yes, the stories span more than a decade. My essays appeared in a variety of parenting publications. In a sense, those magazines walked alongside me on my motherhood journey.
2. I laughed out loud while reading your book! Is/was having a sense of humor an important element to motherhood for you?
Absolutely. How else can we get through what I call the chaos of love that naturally comes with parenting? Having a sense of humor allowed me the space to experience (and survive) the unexpected. Laughter helped shift my thinking from battling a catastrophe to embracing the moment, good or bad.
3. What made you decide to put together your essays in a book? How did you pick the ones that made it into the book?
My sister Sadye (also my biggest fan) wanted me to pursue collecting the essays. And I have to confess, she didn’t have a tough sell. I wanted to have this body of work in one place. To me, each essay is a piece of my life’s puzzle. Individually they are entertaining bits, but together, in my humble opinion, they form a giant tapestry, spanning those busy years of motherhood. Together, they complete the picture.
As to which essays that made the cut – I chose the ones I felt had the largest appeal. I wanted my stories to touch the most readers. There’s something in Woman@Heart for every one of us wife, sister, aunt, mother, girlfriend.
4. As a mother myself, I enjoyed reading your essays because they felt like solid advice to me, the essay on cavities, the musings on putting your oxygen mask or how to pack a 3rd graders lunch – all very useful! Did writing these essays during this time in your life help you with your own questions about parenthood?
Cindy, I never thought about this until now. But as I reflect on the stories, I realize that writing about the trials and tribulations, the challenges and missteps (Motherhood Hall of Shame), was my way to make sense of what is often the overwhelming responsibilities that surround women in our daily lives.
Writing questions:
1. If you could tell your younger writing self-anything, what would it be?
Ah, another insightful question. If I could tell a younger Claire anything, it would be to not take everything so seriously. Not every battle is a hill to die on. Whether it’s writing essays or making dinner, that moment is a small stitch in the fabric of your life. It is more important to be present for yourself, your family and your friends than to be perfect.
2. Can you share your writing background with us?
I graduated from San Diego State University with a Journalism degree and the goal of being the first female to report an investigative story on 60 Minutes. A few twists and turns later, I found myself engaged in promotions for the world-famous San Diego Zoo. Fast forward about 10 years and three children later, I took on the role as editor at San Diego Family Magazine. You don’t realize it at the time, but each step in your life moves you along the path to where you’re meant to be. I still regret not making it big on TV news, but the choices I made brought me to this moment. It’s been a great ride so far . . . and, God willing, I still have more tickets in my possession to continue the trip.
3. What does your family think about your writing and being part of your essays?
As with most things in life, personal essay writing was a lot hard than I had imagined. Lucky for me, I had an amazing mentor, Sue Diaz, author of “Snake in the Spin Cycle.” Essayists like Sue write so well that they make weaving these tales appear seamless, when in reality, essay writing is some of the hardest work I’ve ever done.
In the early going, along with other sage advice, Sue cautioned me to clear my stories with the family for publications. Of course there were a few topics off limits – Superman underwear for example. I was always mindful of my husband and sons’ feelings when I put their lives on display. Fortunately for me, for the most part, they didn’t mind.
Meet Claire Yezbak Fadden:
Excerpt from MOM - Made of Money: The truth hit me like two weeks’ worth of dirty clothes, tumbling down my laundry chute. Somewhere along the line, while I was performing day-to-day mothering duties, my three sons grew up thinking that MOM stood for “Made of Money.” I’m not sure when this happened, but I knew how.
It wasn’t such a stretch for my kids to equate MOM with money. Nowadays, everything is labeled with an acronym. Kids watch DVDS, teams play OT and we use the ATM. It was a natural progression for MOM to mean Made of Money.
This wasn’t the definition of motherhood I learned from my mom Florence. Quite the opposite. She raised me to be independent and self-sufficient. If there was something special I wanted, I paid for it with my babysitting money. I never considered using her purse as the means to buy stuff.
Read more about Claire at: www.clairefadden.com and pick up her book, https://amzn.to/38lO97j
